Why focus on “high-achieving” communities?

I often receive confused looks when I tell people that I’m a social worker who works with independent and “high-achieving” school and work communities. While not traditional groups for social workers to focus on, young people in these spaces are considered an “at-risk” group, experiencing higher rates of stress, anxiety, depression and substance use issues than national norms.

Why is this? Research shows that the overwhelming pressure to succeed - to get top grades, win awards, get into top universities - that drives these settings are associated with decreased level of well-being and increased levels of chronic stress among youth.

Our fast-paced, hyper-competitive, individual-achievement focused culture prevents our kids from experiencing their own worth and humanity.

I haven’t just studied this phenomenon, I’ve witnessed it up close and have been working to change it for years. As an expert in high-achieving settings, I’ve surveyed and interviewed thousands of independent school students, staff and administrators and heard the same thing over and over again. From preschools to upper schools, the main message was clear:

What young people believe matters most to adults is what they can do, not who they are. And it doesn’t matter how they win, it only matters if they win. It is a zero sum game.

Despite this reality, very few resources exist that address the particular challenges that face these kids and the cultural context of affluence they are growing up in.

This lack of recognition comes at too high of a cost. The young people who attend these elite schools are positioned to become the future leaders, influencers and lawmakers of this country. We need our next generation to be emotionally healthy, resilient and committed to equity, community care, and an understanding of our shared humanity.

How does this happen? It starts with us, the adults.

Our work, as their parents and educators and leaders, is to attend to our own health and well-being - and to recognize how it is impacted by high-stress, inequitable, competitive systems and structures. As we do this, we open up space to create happier, healthier, anti-oppressive families and communities.

As parents and educators, we can transform the culture that reduces our worth to an acceptance letter into environments that nurture our kindness, curiosity, and courage.

What could our families and communities look like if we prioritize well-being?